As you all may or may not know, Ellen "Lupin" Costello, a member of SBMB, ended her fight against leukemia on April 15th, 2003. She was only 14 years old. As a member of SBMB I can truly say, I am glad our company helped make her battle a little more tolerable. If only we could help more.
On behalf of the members of SBMB/UBA, I send condolences to Ellen's family and friends.
You were the most crucial people in her life. No one should ever have to go through what she did at such a young age, but she still had you to support her.
And on that note..

Marf Day, and every other day, is dedicated to Ellen Costello, all cancer patients, and all of the other SBMB members who have passed on without us knowing.
Our hearts go out to you.


As found on my LJ[Live Journal]:
In honor of the memory of Ellen "Lupin" Costello.
'None of us knows what is ahead...The important thing is to use today wisely and well, and face tomorrow eagerly and cheerfully and with the certainty that we shall be equal to what it brings.' --Channing Pollock

"Do not grieve for me and shed no tears. For when I take my last breath, someone new will be taking their first. And the place I leave in this universe will be filled up with another's new joy." --Sheri Ann Russo

As quoted in Maria McSweeny's signature: "God Sent me an angel from the heaven above..."

Submitted by: Becca


Unfortunetly I never got to know Ellen personally, but I know that many people loved her and saw her as a good person. I would like to send my deepest sympathy to her family and friends because I know that it must have been a horrible loss to lose someone that you truley loved. Even though I may not have known Ellen, I do know one thing for sure: Ellen will be greatly missed throughout the Sean Biggerstaff website.

Submitted by: Lezli a.k.a Marfymarfsmellow


Ellen we all miss you dearly and I hope wherever you are you're happy, because you sure deserve it. We'll all meet you again someday. You were a great person and may you Rest In Peace.

Submitted by: Suzanne


I'd just like to take this bit out of my time to say something about one of our board members who has passed on. Ellen. I may not have known her personally but I feel like I know a bit about everyone on the boards. A lot of people got to know her and I'm sure this is leaving a big impact on them and on her family. I'm glad that she got to spend her last few weeks with us. I hope they were not as painful as this will be with her loved ones. At such a young age Ellen was taken from everyone and will be sorely missed. Today I light a candle for Ellen. Her spirit will stay on the board forever.
R.I.P Ellen.

Submitted by: Chelsea aka Cutie Pie


I would love to say that Ellen was a great girl. She loved Sean with all her heart and we miss her. Rest in peace, Ellen. *muah*

Submitted by: Jessica


Unfortunately, I never had the pleasure of meeting Ellen. I never did get to know her so I could ask about how her day went or laugh at her jokes. I knew nothing about her really and yet, I found myself crying when I found out the tragic news. How could a girl, a girl that had so much to look forward to in life, just die? It didn't seem fair at the time and when I think about it, I still feel it isn't fair. But God works in mysterious ways. Maybe it's to bring us all closer together, or maybe he just has bigger and better plans for Ellen. At least I know that right now, she is looking down on us. She sees the impact that she had on us. How this even has brought some of us closer together. I just hope that she likes what she sees and that we make her proud. Rest in peace, Ellen.



Although I didn't get to know her, I'm sure Ellen was a wonderful girl. She'll be missed among all.

Submitted by: Ness


Ellen was my little badger. I never really got the time to become as close as hoped for with her. We did speak often, and she was one of the most wonderful people I had ever met. I had been gone for a while and came back to find that she had passed on. My heart was broken into thousands of pieces. I feel terrible that I didn't even get to say goodbye... and that I never told her how much I loved her. In losing Ellen, I lost a friend.

"They that love beyond the world
Cannot be separated by it.
Death is but crossing the world,
As friends do the seas;
They live in one another still.
---William Penn
*I miss you Ellen. You'll always be my little badger." - Lys


I have a funny thing about death.... When I was younger, I had panic attacks at night when I was in bed: I don't want to die, I don't want to leave my family and friends and cease to exist. Later on, these panic attacks faded, but over the last two months, they've come back. I realised I got these attacks, because I don't have a conclusive belief of what happens when one dies. I attended Church with my family when I was younger, and believe in God. Not in the most common sense though....

I have read the bible, but don't agree with most of it. My belief about God is that the bible is an out-of-date book, written by monks. I believe God is 'with' the times, and changes as do the ages. I understand my beliefs could be highly offending to some people, but these are my beliefs and I can't really change them! That's why I tend to keep my religious beliefs to myself. I in no way think my beliefs are correct, and others wrong... in fact, my true belief is that there is room for ALL religions and beliefs. I feel that whatever you believe, that is what is true. It's difficult to explain, but I feel my ideas of faith help me to accept everyone for who they are. The only thing I have not concluded in my beliefs, are what happens after death. Is there an afterlife? Is there a heaven? Do we reincarnate? I don't believe in hell, I know that much... I think my reckoning so far, is that once you die, if you have been 'good' or at least fulfilled during your life, you go to 'heaven' or where ever it is that you believe you go to. If you have been 'bad' (murder, rape, basic cruelness etc) or have not been happy or fulfilled, you come back to make up for your mistakes or to do the things you wish you'd done previously.

But, these beliefs are frightful to me. What happens if I DO go to Heaven? What will it be like? Is it eternal life? Will I be with past friends and family, from this life or other lives, if any? Who will recognise me? Will God be there, or does he live in the stars and the blackness of outer space? Is there even a God, or Gods and Goddesses? Or, if I have not been happy enough, will I really, truly come back? What as? Human? Horse? Spider? Or, when I die, is that it? There is just nothingness? How can that be, when right this second, I am trying to grasp a meaning of death... I can think and believe and love and hate and cry and laugh and form opinions? How can there be nothingness, if I am here to think about where death might lead me?

These thoughts terrify me, and I panic, finding it difficult to breathe, and feeling a desperate need to be comforted by my loved ones. Often I seek comfort in this message board. Seeing posts about others' lives helps me feel better... life is still going on. But, despite all my wondering, I know that the reason I fear death, if because I don't fully, truly believe in one thing, of what happens after death, if anything at all. I contemplate too many 'what ifs' to have come to a conclusive decision.

When I learnt of Ellen's death, despite not really knowing her that well (I had only been on the board about three weeks), I cried. I cried because I felt it unfair that at 14, a girl who's family and friends adored her, should leave Earth as we know it. It frightened me again, that one day, people would speak of me the way we all spoke of Ellen. I was scared for her, too. Where did you go, Ellen? Can you see us? Do you know how many people miss you and wish you were still amongst us? Are you sad, or are you content? Are you there at all? I find coming to terms with the death of someone near me very hard, even if I don't know them that well. I let myself mourn for Ellen, but later, I felt angry. Why was it, that so many people die unexpectedly? Was she in pain, and did she want to leave? My hope for her, is that she is no longer in pain and that she is very happy now. I can never find words to try and console those affected most by a death of a friend of family member. I wanted to be able to comfort Maria, and everyone on the board who was affected. When I realised I didn't know how, I cried again. Why is it that if death is such an important part of life, do we fear it, does is make us sad? I feel I will never know the answer to these questions, but I figured out something.... I may never know, where I go or what happens, when I die. I may never know the way to comfort someone in distress over a friend's death. But I discovered, the day I heard about Ellen, that life is just that: life. Ellen helped me realise that even in death, one has an affect on others' lives. We were all saddened by Ellen's death, and I feel many of us became closer.

I certainly felt closer to everyone on the board. Everyone here has become a new family of some sort to me. On the SBMB, no one has to know everything about me, to like me. I can share what I want, and keep to myself what I want. I have actually shared more with you guys than I have with some of the friends I see everyday. So, I just wanted to say, first of all to everyone, thankyou for making me feel loved and included. Thankyou for silently and unknowingly helping me everyday through worries and bad things in my life. Thankyou for making me laugh and for being there when I need you. To Ellen, if you can hear me, or know this, thankyou for helping me be comforted a little. I hope where ever you are, you are happy. You helped me know that even in death, one's memory continues to live forever, and that is what has comforted me.

Submitted by: Little Aims


Ellen. I will miss you so much! You were the best 3/4 Little Badger there ever was! I cant believe that you have gone to heaven at such a young age! I never got to meet you in person, but I did meet you on the site, and I will cherish all of the conversations that we had. You were a wonderful person. You were always cheerful and were always ready to share a good laugh with me. I will miss talking to you and posting to you. I will miss your cheerfull words!

"And He shall lift you up on eagles wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of His hands"

Rest in peace sweetie.
Submitted by: Anika (Sunrise)


Help others fight their battles:
Cancer Society
Make-A-Wish Foundation
Life Celebrations
Health Charities
Leukemia Research
If you wish for more information, visit your local hospital.

Marf Week 2003